But what stops us from doing it? – and playing full out 100%
A life change can mess with your self-esteem. Whether you wanted it or not, you’ll be confused by conflicting feelings either way. You may be wondering if you’re good enough, while also being completely perplexed as to how to go about doing this “whole new version” on your own.
Loneliness, uncertainty, confusion… not to mention the inevitable comments from not-so-nice people telling you what you should be doing. Everything about transformation takes self-confidence.
Finding new self-confidence can be a seriously hard journey for many women, so it’s important to take time to focus on finding yourself. Rebuild your confidence and become a better version of yourself!
Here are my ten suggestions for rebuilding your self-esteem and rediscovering yourself throughout the process. These strategies have helped me and many of the thousands of women I’ve counseled over my career.
Redefining who we are is one of the more challenging aspects of moving on following a life transformation. This isn’t to imply that you used to be someone else, but we all evolve, develop, and flourish. And some people want to alter as well; when they reach a certain age, they’re also ready to embrace the new version of themselves.
1. Get a new hairstyle
2. Go on a trip by yourself
3. Join a club or class
4. Get a makeover
5. Meet new friends
6. Develop a skill
8. Be more positive
9. Find a new hobby
10. Embrace your sexuality
There is no one right or wrong way to approach this time in your life. The key is to do what feels best for you, to be gentle with yourself, and to be confident that you will find your way through this period of change.
Have faith in yourself–you’re capable of far more than you give yourself credit for, but what stops us is confidence!
Find your confidence.
So, to have stronger self-confidence, you must first identify your authentic self. You see, our personality and how we define ourselves change over time. However, we do not develop in a comfort zone bubble. Our actions, choices, and relationships influence our sense of self-esteem as well as our confidence. As a result of this, If you believe you are a decent person with high moral principles, you will be more careful in your conduct. Conversely, if you perceive yourself as unlovable and inferior, you may be hesitant to take transformation chances for fear of rejection or embarrassment. All of this has an impact on how you view yourself and it influences your daily confidence and actions.
When you are committed to changing the fears and reservations you may have had in the beginning start to fade away. When you identify who you are, you start to feel secure in self-love & self-worth and you carry yourself with confidence.
Many of my clients that are supported by me during their transformation have had many positive life experiences. Those clients highlight the increased levels of happiness, self-confidence, healthier relationships, improved physical health, improved job performance, and many more.
It’s no wonder why being in a deep, self-loving relationship becomes a core component of how we see ourselves. The question now is; how do we show up in our new self-confidence after we’ve found our new deep self-love relationship?
Here are some suggestions that have helped my clients find their authentic selves.
1. Describe your greatest assets and achievements.
Make a list of the positive traits your loved ones would describe you. Even if you don’t believe them at this moment, you are trying to tip the scale of negative thoughts and negative self-talk back in your favour.
This implies that simply having more good thoughts than bad ones begins to shift your brain’s frequency. You want a high frequency, so keep listing your positive qualities and feel free to do so every morning before you begin your day. This will help you walk out the door with a spring in your step and radiating confidence.
2. Write about yourself (and read it).
Consider how much you’ve grown as a result of doing your inner belief work. You have undoubtedly grown and learned about yourself, others, and what you want (or don’t want) in life. Recognising changes makes it simpler to identify who you are when things begin to shift. The sooner you can recognise that your life events don’t define you, the sooner you’ll be able to look at the big picture and see how they’ve prepared you for this time.
3. Make a point of highlighting your body assets.
You see, using the assets you already have and honing them will raise your self-esteem (the belief that you can accomplish anything). You, in turn, will have the confidence to take on new challenges – and look great doing it!
4. Practice being confident.
If you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will. So start by accepting compliments graciously and with confidence. When you do this, you are affirming to yourself that you ARE confident and that others see it in you as well.
You can also start by standing up straighter, making eye contact, and speaking with conviction. The more comfortable you become with these things, the easier they will become, and the more natural your confidence will be.
Make a vision board of the person you want to become.
To be deliberate, put pen to paper and write out who you desire to be. And the more detailed you can be, the better able you’ll be to visualise that person today. By letting that positive image of yourself dictate the choices you make today and the new people and experiences you are willing to allow into your life tomorrow.
I work with a lot of women who have bounced back from their darkest moments to real happiness and triumph. And they were able to do this by being intentional about their goals, the habits they desired to develop, and the person they wanted to see in the mirror.
What my success with them has demonstrated is that we have more power over our mindset than we realise. You can become the person you’ve always wanted to be – it just takes some time, effort, and consistency.
1. Set the intention to love yourself first.
When we make room for self-love, we automatically make room for healthier relationships with others. Why? Because we can’t give to others unless we give to ourselves first!
Are you ready for the truth blast? The only love you should be concerned about firstly is your own. That’s why adopting these practices to boost self-confidence allows you to do what makes you happy.
Create a self-care regimen.
Taking care of yourself, your appearance, and your mental well-being is a big step toward rebuilding confidence. Allot some time for yourself day to day to focus on yourself. Take a bath, pluck your eyebrows, polish your nails, put on a soothing face mask, relax in bed with a good book, knit, whatever you have to do to feel relaxed and refreshed.
This is your time to decompress from the day, and you should feel pampered. You can even add in a healthy activity like yoga or meditation to help ease stress and promote peace of mind.
2. Get rid of negative self-talk.
If you want to change the way you see yourself, you have to start with your inner dialogue. What are you saying to yourself on a daily basis? If it’s anything less than loving and kind, it’s time for a change!
Start by identifying the negative thoughts you have about yourself. Once you’re aware of them, you can start changing them to something more positive. For example, instead of thinking “I’m so fat,” try thinking “I’m working on being healthier every day.”
3. Dress for success.
This one may seem superficial, but it’s actually very important. The way you dress can impact the way you feel about yourself. If you’re constantly wearing baggy clothes that hide your body, you’re not going to feel very good about yourself.
Instead, try to find clothes that flatter your figure and make you feel good when you wear them. It doesn’t have to be expensive – just something that makes you feel confident and stylish.
4. Develop a can-do attitude.
Your mindset is everything when it comes to self-confidence. If you believe you can do something, you’re much more likely to succeed than if you don’t.
Start by setting small goals for yourself and working your way up. As you accomplish each goal, your confidence will grow. Remember that mistakes are part of the journey – don’t be afraid to fail, because it’s how we learn and grow.
5. Surround yourself with positive people.
The people you surround yourself with have a big impact on your overall outlook on life. If you’re constantly around negative people, it’s going to be hard to stay positive yourself.
On the other hand, being around positive people can be contagious. Their good vibes will rub off on you, and you’ll start to see the glass as half full instead of half empty.
6. Practice self-compassion.
We are often our own worst critics. We’re always hard on ourselves, even when we don’t deserve it. That’s why it’s important to practice self-compassion.
Be kind to yourself, forgive yourself, and cut yourself some slack. We all make mistakes – it’s part of being human.
7. Do something nice for someone else.
One of the best ways to boost your own confidence is to do something nice for someone else. When we give back, it feels good – and that good feeling will reflect back on us.
It doesn’t have to be anything big – just a simple act of kindness. Hold the door open for someone, pay for the coffee of the person behind you in line, or write a heartfelt thank-you note.
8. Set boundaries.
In order to truly love and respect yourself, you need to set boundaries. This means saying “no” when you need to, and not letting people take advantage of you.
It can be hard to do, but it’s so important. Remember that you are worth protecting – and only you can do that.
9. Speak up for yourself.
If you don’t stand up for yourself, nobody else will. This means speaking up when you’re feeling disrespected or taken advantage of. It also means standing up for your beliefs, even if others don’t agree with you.
It can be scary to do, but it’s so important. Remember that your voice matters – and you have a right to be heard.
10. Love yourself, flaws and all.
The most important thing of all is to love yourself, flaws and all. You are perfectly imperfect, and that’s what makes you so special. Accepting yourself for who you are is the first step to true confidence.
Change is hard. It’s scary. It can be downright daunting, especially if we don’t know where to start or what the outcome might be. But it’s also exciting and new, a chance for us to become the person we always wanted to be. So how do we make that change happen? We take small steps every day that move us closer and closer to our goal. And along the way, we accept help from others who want to see us succeed. When it comes time for your make-over, remember that you are not alone in this journey. The world is full of people who want nothing more than to see you thrive and reach your goals. Let go of your fears about how to love yourself, everything else falls into place. You start to see your worth, and you realise that you are worthy of love and respect. From there, your confidence will grow – and you’ll be able to accomplish anything you set your mind to.
So, if you’re feeling the itch to start a make-over but don’t know where to start, we hope this post has given you some ideas. We encourage you to take your time and experiment with different looks, styles, and techniques until you find what works best for you. And above all else – have fun with it! After all, making over your life should be enjoyable.
How are you going to change up your look to feel more confident?
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